Friday, 1 August 2014

Walt: show don't Tell 

A few day's ago we had to show not tell an emotion in our writing. We focused on writing in the third person.  Can you guess how im feeling?

his head was cold that was going to blow.his body was  shaking and shivering he could not move that his standing like a stone that was deep-frozen have one more word.what he was thinking about wolf in his mind that was eating his dad & mum.but he thought that his friend was there to  help him. then he was crying that made the frozen  gone.but he screamed  to his mum.he  run back one helped him no more,they where was no person to save him.he was stuck in a ] house with no way out.                                                                                         


  1. Oh Pharrell, what a good try at describing how your character was feeling without telling us! I think you recorded your story with great expression well done. We might need to work on re-reading our writing to make sure it makes sense next time ok? What a super effort though Pharrell, good job!

  2. Kia ora Pharrell. I like the words you used to describe your characters emotions. I liked the way you had him go from one emotion to another, I felt his fear, then a bit of hope, then sadness and despair. Tu meke.
    from Mrs Morgan-French

    1. hi miss Morgan-French.thank you so much for commenting on my Blog Maybe I comment on your's.